A response to a Sticky question:
Adam, I am aware of your alignment in the religious sect, but I will try to find a meaningful relation between us. If I am not mistaken, you are acutely mathematically inclined. How does this effect your perspective of the otherwise 'natural' universe? Are you of the opinion that the language of mathematics will eventually describe the interworkings of such a complex structure? And, are you confident that your significated, yet limited access to consciousness is sufficient to comprehend all the indefinites that create a notion of God?
Not trying to put you on the spot, but I sense you have already dealt with such questions. In many other words, where do you draw your faith?
First, I hope that you, as a reader, will base any relationship you have with me on the things that I do. Being who I am, I will have to tell you that not all of the things I do will be appealing to you. Many of them I dont like myself. But that is who I am. I am forever striving to become better in those places that I lack (or do "bad").
Yes, mathematics is a subject which I have some exceptional talent in. I have always had some great skill in it, and even now I am enjoying some recreation in the subject at the local university where we solve problems (and have submitted a few for publication).
Let's get one thing straight though. I love mathematics in its purest and rawest form. G. H. Hardy has said (as well as others, I'm sure) that pure mathematics have no basis or use in life whatsoever. The most beautiful and elegant proofs in the world will never have any *real* practical application.
This reminds me of a little joke. An engineer, physicist and mathematician were all sleeping in the same hotel room. At one point in the night, the wastebasket catches fire. The engineer immediately wakes up, does some quick calculations in his head, grabs the water bucket and puts the fire out ... water splashing out and onto the floor. Satisfied they go back to sleep. Later in the night, (for purposes of the joke only, I hope), the same wastebasket catches fire again. This time the physicist wakes up, does some more detailed calculations on those little notepads in the room, grabs the water bucket, pours the precise amount to nullify the fire and returns back to sleep. Finally, the wastebasket bursts into a huge flaming mass. The mathematician wakes up quite alarmed, grabs the paper and vigorously calculates a solution. After looking at the growing fire, the mathematician carefully rewrites the solution, looks the answer over twice, nods in satisfaction, throws the paper into the fire and goes back to sleep.
It is the physicists' (and chemists' and biologists' and <insert>ists') job to explain the "otherwise 'natural' universe". Of course, they are explaining it in mathematical terms which coincide with what many mathematicians believe. In fact, I would even say that these people actually are mathematicians. (That's kind of a math/physics joke. FYI, I wholeheartedly agree that Person.is-a(physicist) => Person.is-a(mathematician).)
Will we ever be able to explain the world in a perfect mathematical formula? Sigh. He looks far off with a quiet, happy smile on his face. Slowly, the smile fades and a somber look prevails. I dont think so. I think that is like the perfect asymptote. We've made so much progress in the last few hundred years. But each time we get closer, it seems like we are even farther away ... so much more to explore. Einstein could probably tell us why it seems so.
There is some kind of order to this 'natural' world. Mathematics and physics are getting closer every day to explaining it. But how? Why? Why are we even alive to ask these questions? I have ideas and theories which seem to rationalize things. I have "notions" which are true in almost all situations. I even have some "notions" which have no direct contradictory examples. (At the mathematical level, you accept these "notions" as axioms but ultimately acknowledge that your principles are based on accepted truths rather than "proven" truths.)
So what can explain those things which can not be explained? What can explain the things that exist (or dont exist) when there is clear proof that it is impossible for these things to exist (or not exist)? Well, obviously, the answer is the proof isnt quite that "clear". Can the limited be an accurate representation of the unlimited? Yes! (I would say, mathematically, yes, but physically, no. I am moving closer to my own spiritual understanding and it's difficult to cross that border without having what seems to be direct contradictions, but those contradictions are the basis for my faith! You can really hurt your brain if you think about these things too much.)
In mathematics, we draw pictures and mark symbols that denote abstract ideas and things which would otherwise be indescribable (or unlimited). So, it is possible for my limited intelligence to know and comprehend the concept and idea of that which is infinite or indescribable (or unlimited). So, yes, I am confident that my limited consciousness can comprehend the "notion" of (an unlimited) God. But I dont like this statement. The use of the word "confident" implies a sufficiently high degree of probability to negate that which is improbable. But this isnt my stance. I would have to say 0 for the improbable. No, it's not asymptotic. I mean that I *know* God.
Actually, that's not what you asked though. You wanted to know if I could "comprehend all the indefinites that create a notion of God". Those "indefinites" are the contradictions I discussed earlier. Contradictions do not fit in a logical argument. Contradictions are used to proof things that you dont want to be true. Thus, the opposite of what you believed to be true is true. The world is full of contradictions. You say it can be explained, I say it cant. Thats a contradiction by itself. This sentence is a contradiction. ;-)
I acknowledge these contradictions. I accept them. Based on this knowledge, I know that many things which are contradictory are possible. I know now that 3 = 1. (This equation is very popular amongst Christian apologetics. Choose any two distinct numbers to generalize this.) I believe the Infinite exists inside of the finite, but the there is more of the finite than the inifite. Sure, you say these things are impossible, but I say "With God, all things are possible". Why?
Before I answer your real question, let me further point out that even this was not really what you asked me. You wanted to know if I was "confident" that my "significated, yet limited access to consciousness" was "sufficient" to accept all these things. My immediate answer, of course, is yes. If it were not true that I was confident of these things ... if it were not true that my "limited access to consciousness" was not confident of these things, then I would not know what I know ... I would not accept what I have accepted. How can I know something if I am not confident of it?
Are you asking about prior to this "knowing"? That's different. Why did you get there? "Where do you draw your faith" from? This was really a trek I started in the summer of 1998.
Let me tell you a little story about a smart boy growing up in a pretty poor family. I am gracious (now) we had food on the table and a home to sleep in, but I had already decided when I was younger what God was not. God was not a lack of money. A lack of money produces family units that live in vicious cycles that constantly have bitterness and the essence of evil and evil acts coursing through them. (Obviously, this is wrong but it was necessary for me to be where I am today. Oh, and this might be an over exaggeration but I'm not going into details and even though I was a white country boy in a little rural family, we still had problems, mostly because of lack of money.)
So what makes you money? A good education. Get a college degree. Good education = good job = good money = no problems. So I focused on education. Got all the scholarships kept them for four years in college. Got some more to continue on for graduate school. Making almost $1000 per month just to go to school. But I was stagnating in my education level. I was not rising as far nor as fast as I wanted, plus I wanted to start reaping the rewards of my education.
Yes, I got greedy. I wanted to improve my monetary level. My financial success. I started a business with a partner which seemed like it was gonna do good but it failed. I was unhappy and so I settled for the first $45K a year job I could get. (... two weeks after looking. Now, in New York or other inner cities, that may barely pay for the rent but in rural Louisiana, I'm rolling.) Things are looking good, but I still got problems. Problems from my childhood that force me to drinking. Drinking doesnt solve the problem but if you drink enough you forget what you do and forgetting helps. The drinking put me in the hospital and gets me arrested at least once each.
Well, the oil field was dying and I lost my job after almost a year. I was taking a life check and realizing that I've been improving my life in many areas but there are some areas that I needed to improve still. I needed to improve my social life (not my friends, I've always had good friends, but my wife-to-be social life) and my spiritual life (my reason for being, my personal enhancement and mediation). Obviously, I'd need to fix myself before I'd feel comfortable with a family, so I started on my spiritual life first. (This was the beginning of my current trek.) I figured the best way to do that was to start my own business (this time by myself) and start seeking so I got a six week contract for $10K (... again, two weeks after looking).
OK, that's enough of that little diversion, but I think it was important because I wanted you to realize something. (a) That I was actively seeking this answer. I needed it. I wasnt confident or anything (my acceptance would not come until a year later) but I seeked. (b) But you cant write out a flowchart for your spiritual well-being like a computer program. If you could, then we could have conveyor belts going underneath "faith" detectors: Yes. Yes. NO! Yes. NO! NO! Yes. (c) But more important than anything I have said before: This path is very personal. I cant walk this path for you. Something that helped me, but may not help you, is that I turned away from a logical world and seeked the answer from my heart or my inner essence. I cant do that for you nor can I say that is the right path for you but I can promise you this much: If you seek it, you will find it.